In the beginning, God created the
Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables
of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan
created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?" And Man said, "Yes!"
and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles." And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled.
And God created the healthful yogurt
that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and sugar from
the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.
So God said, "Try my fresh green
salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic toast on the side. And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.
God then said, "I have sent you
heart healthy vegetables and olive oil in which to cook them." And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak
so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. God then created a
light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good." Satan then created chocolate cake and named
it "Devil's Food."
God then brought forth running shoes
so that His children might lose those extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man would not have to
toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.
Then God brought forth the potato,
naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into
chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds.
God then gave lean beef so that
Man might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite. And Satan created McDonald's and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?" And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!" And Satan said, "It is good." And Man
went into cardiac arrest.
God sighed and created quadruple
Then Satan created HMOs